I don't know what's happened to my motivation of late. It seems that I must have dropped it on the treadmill during my last run. If you find it, please return it to me...I miss him dearly.
Okay, it's not all that bad. Sunday was my scheduled 15K and I tried not to think about it too much during the week. I know I can do the distance, I'm confident now. But there was something else pokin' round in my brain. I just didn't know if I wanted to do it.
Saturday night I had a great time out with some girlfriends and there was no (okay, very little) running talk. I was worried that if I started thinking about my run I would cut the night short to get sleep. Mr. B thinks I'm silly for thinking this way:
Me: I don't know if I want to stay out too late, because I have my long run on Sunday
Mr. B: Who cares. Go out tonight then run in the morning...you're young.
I was easily swayed (and flattered) by this reasoning. So I enjoyed my evening, popcorn with smarties and all, and I planned to wake up early and get'er done. But of course, as most of you know, there was the time change on Saturday night and I ended up getting home at about, oh...1:45 am!!
Well, 8am came and went, but I managed to drag myself out of bed at 9 to eat and get ready. It took everything in me to get out the door. I just wasn't feeling it. By 2k I decided to run faster than normal to get it done and over with.
Disclaimer: This is NOT in Coach Kelly's plan. In fact, she has told me specifically to do all my runs at a slower than normal pace. So yes, I went against my coach's rules.
But it paid off. I managed to run 15K two minutes faster than my 14K from last week. I was sooo happy to be done (and be able to brag about it afterward). But boy oh boy, I was looking for excuses heading out the door.
A couple things I think are cramping my mental game:
1) I'm getting lonely on my long runs. Seriously, I love having time to myself but c'mon...I've run out of things to talk about with myself.
2) I'm bored with my music. In fact I've been running half of the long run sans musique. I need new tunes and I keep putting off the effort to add songs to my ipod.
3) I'm sick of the weather. I can't wait for some rays of sun and dry ground to run on...I know it's coming.
Add all those together and I get a recipe for (self) destruction. I need to snap out of it soon. I'm soooo close to my goal of 16k for my upcoming race, but I still have almost 6 weeks of training yet...I'm tired.
Well thanks for listening to my whining and complaining. I have to remember that I chose to do this, I chose to train for this distance...so enough of the pity party.
But....if you choose to send any words of wisdom my way that can help get my head back in the game...I will be eternally grateful.