Friday, January 13, 2012

Mean Mommies

I came across an article the other day in the Hamilton Spectator. I work in Hamilton now, so I feel I should attempt to keep up with the local news. This article wasn't about Hamilton itself, but it caught my eye.

It was about how mom's are so judgemental of each other, especially in the early days of parenthood.
The author says " Judgment, it seems, is the plague of motherhood."

How many of you moms have been victim of this? While you think that most new moms would lean on each other for support and understanding, often the opposite happens. They are the ones that judge you when you bottle feed, or let your baby sleep in your bed. Don't even get me started about the competition of 'bouncing' back after pregnancy...seriously I have beef with this, but it's a whole other post.

It's been a while since my kids were babies and I had to go through that fumbling, do-what-works, what-am-I-doing, stage, but I have a friend at work that asks me for advice sometimes and had expressed that some of her friends are more judgemental than supportive.

It's like they need to make themselves feel better about what they are doing only by putting down others.

How sad is that? From the article:

As if raising a child isn’t hard enough, we’ve created a war zone where 
mothers keep constant guard, afraid they’ll be slaughtered for failing 
to achieve a pinnacle of parenting no one has actually seen in real life. 
The mean girls have become mean mommies.

It's like high school all over again!! Why can't we just leave that behind.

The author of the article also has a great blog here. I just discovered it, but sounds like she's preaching to the choir.

I have to say that in the blog world I have "met" a very large and supportive group of moms all over the world. They may be virtual, but they are very supportive, understanding, sympathetic and sometimes very funny.

If you have a chance check out the reading list on my blog roll to visit some of these ladies. They have inspired me in more ways than I ever thought possible from 'imaginary' friends.

Have you been victim of a mean mommy? What did you do? Where did you go to find 'real' friends?


Anonymous said...

I have found that those hiding behind the cloak of anonymity on the internet can be so incredibly judgmental. I have to remind myself that 1) they're strangers 2) they know nothing about me 3) they clearly don't have anything better to do.

With that said, I have also found that there are strangers on the same internet who have become incredibly close friends and super supportive.

Honestly, I think its ridiculous! We're all struggling with issues - even if they're the same or not. Why can't we all just give a helping hand to one another, you know? Even a simple "I hope you find a solution" can go such a long way.

Yikes I sure did go off didn't I?! Haha!!

Cat B. said...

I'm glad I hit on something that actually got a reaction!! It's true that you keep in mind that everyone is entitled to their own opinion. In the same sense, if you put something out there, don't expect everyone to agree with you. It's good to remember you're own values as a guide.

Anonymous said...

Thankfully, most of the moms I have met (in real life and in the virtual world) have been so supportive. I think we all go through tough times and sometimes just talking to another mom and realizing that we are all going through similar situations help. We are all just trying to do our best job to raise healthy, independent kids which I realize is so much easier said than done! I go to/teach a weekly toddler class and love this time to see my mom friends and have some time for the kids to sing, play, while I can visit and share with other moms!